A social superpower - the big truth about little lies

Greg Wyatt • April 16, 2026

(With luck she won't sue me for copyright infringement)


I was reminded about the imperative to lie at times, when commenting on a post about namism this week.


Namism is discrimination against uncommon names, with proof that a change of name improves the likelihood of getting an interview from an application.


A lie that mitigates the worst behaviour in a recruitment process seems reasonable behaviour to me.


What follows is an article released around the same time as my sister's book, as a tribute to her fine work.


At the time I planned to call it "Nothing but the truth" the name she refused to use, because her publisher told her negative titles don't sell - he clearly hasn't seen a Bond film.


Instead, I went for a House quote, "Everybody lies", because like it or not, everybody does.


June 2023


At the end of her speech, my sister made a simple request:


“Put your hand in the air if you’ve lied today.”


Only one person didn’t put their hand up – me.


Lying’s not in my nature, except in a couple of specific situations where no harm is caused.


You can believe that or not, up to you.


The earlier part of the speech touched on all those little moments in our lives where we tell a little lie, either to ourselves or someone else.


Sometimes it’s to protect feelings. Sometimes to protect ourselves.


Sometimes it’s to keep up the narrative of how we are perceived because we don’t want to share our secret selves.


It was a great launch for a book on how society doesn’t just put up with lies to function, it may even rely on them.


She interviewed a wide range of experts on lying including spies and toddler scientists, showed how the face can lie, and talked about her amnesia and what it was like to be in the closet.


She didn’t interview me about recruitment, so I’m putting that right today.


Lies are rampant everywhere you look in recruitment.


In a survey last year, 51% of respondents admitted to lying on their CVs.


I expect the true number to be higher, considering some won’t even admit a lie to themselves.


It’s common to extrapolate behaviour from what we experience. One lie may lead to more, and that may be the only reason you need to reject a candidate.


Not all lies are born equal.


Broadly I differentiate them between lies of impact, lies to protect, and lies of inconsequence.


A lie of impact is one which leads to a decision based on that lie.


Here an example would be John Andrewes, who lied about his experience and qualifications to land a top NHS job.


He was jailed for 2 years and required to pay £100k, the remainder of his assets.


Fraud.


Or lying about reasons for departure – they say redundancy, they meant gross misconduct.


Misrepresenting capability and qualifications.


Mispresenting a role to make it more appealing.


£Competitive salary, when you meant lowball to get a deal.


The lies we should find and cull at the earliest opportunity.


A lie to protect can be many things.


I remember an HR candidate early in my career who changed her name twice. It was highly suspicious to me at the time.

“Apunanwu Oluwayo” became “Apunanwu Roberts” became “Judith Roberts”.


This first change suggested a marriage or divorce. The second I couldn’t fathom.


What a liar, 2005 Greg thought.


Of course, now I know better.


It’s likely she changed her name to a British one because she suffered from namism – one report indicates candidates are 60% less likely to receive a call-back with a foreign-sounding name.


Despite my ignorance, I gave Judith the benefit of the doubt and invited her to interview.


You can see why blind CVs are a fair measure to prevent this happen, although I wonder if it’s better to treat the illness rather than rely on palliative measures.


How about not disclosing identifiable education for the same reasons?


What about disability and neurodivergence?


If a condition requires an accommodation to fulfil a role, is non-disclosure a lie by omission?


Another could be lying about reasons for departure – they said ‘left to focus on a job search’, they meant they couldn’t put up with a harmful environment any longer.


A lie of protection, which isn’t one of impact, should be clarified but, in my opinion, not penalised without investigation.


The lie above is one of protection – I changed the names to protect the individual, one of the situations in which I will lie deliberately, with good reason.


How about a lie of inconsequence?


By this I mean a lie that doesn’t impact employability, reflect capability or have any bearing on what that person is like to work with.


Examples here might be fudging employment dates to prevent the question “Why were you unemployed for 2 days in 2012?”


Or perhaps they might say People Business Partner on their CV, which they fulfilled functionally, yet had a misrepresentative job title of Operations Manager.


Sometimes what seem to be lies of impact, might be lies of inconsequence:


I once had a candidate withdraw from an interview.


Aladdin said his father had passed away, and he had decided to suspend his job search.


I spoke to the hiring manager, Jaffar, and said “This smacks of lying” principally because of a change in behaviour that didn’t seem related to grief, and the very high mortality rate candidates sometimes experience throughout recruitment.


It was a tough vacancy to fill, so we made a plan. Jaffar would contact him directly a couple of weeks after, to check in and see if he fancied a pint.


We put our suspicion aside, while also considering how he might have perceived his relationship with me.


Long story short Aladdin took the job and was there for eight years. He gave me a lovely recommendation too.


I’m pleased to say his father made a full recovery.


While this appears to be a lie of impact, it’s actually one of inconsequence.


He lied because he didn’t feel safe telling me he was having second thoughts. That’s on me, because it is my job to create a safe space for candidates so that they trust me and tell me inconvenient truths.


It’s not dissimilar to the hilariously high rate of car breakdowns in recruitment.


Have we considered our part in that lie?


These three types of lies are a gross simplification to paint the picture.


Our perception of lying is highly subjective, and there is no one right answer.


I think it’s understandable to feel a lie is a dealbreaker.


For lies of impact, this should be the case.


For other lies though, perhaps a judgment call is better than an assumption. Why did that person lie? Could it even be something we did?


Does that lie really matter?


And if it does matter – how many times have you lied in the same way today?


The next eminently-an-epistole is on technical debt in recruitment, and why we should consider the long-term impact of a short-term compromise.


Regards,

Greg

P.s. if you’re interested in Kathleen’s book, you can read about it here:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Social-Superpower-Truth-About-Little-ebook/dp/B09MDWNL44


By Greg Wyatt August 18, 2026
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By Greg Wyatt August 11, 2026
What follows is Chapter 49 in A Career Breakdown Kit (Summer 2026) . It's like many other chapters in that I've tried to make it stand alone, yet it's deeply connected to the rest of the book. For example, if you accept your job search is equivalent to launching a product to market - where you are the product and your next employer the buyer - then a sensible strategy is also equivalent. You execute an appropriate multichannel sales and marketing plan, where you focus on the steps in your control, with considered action and follow up. An interview process is an ongoing negotiation, with each interview equivalent to a consultative sales meeting. And like any good sales professional, you know that the steps preceding, the steps in-between, and the steps after all have a part to play. In my last three offers these have all been contributing factors: The relationship nurtured by the hiring manager led to their new employee hitting the ground running The private information withheld by the candidate that led to an offer rescinded because she could never have fulfilled the role in the first place The enthusiasm shown by a candidate in post interview communications tipped a decision in their favour Recruitment is risk, filled with bias - that doesn't mean you can't make that work for you. 49 - After the interview In a tough job search, getting to an interview can feel a real achievement. If you’ve been accountable in your applications, only going for roles where you are a strong fit, these are tangible opportunities to secure employment. The interview itself isn’t the be-all and end-all. It’s better to see them as the start of a conversation, one that’s only complete when you either have an acceptable employment contract in your hand, or if it’s an unequivocal no. Continuing this conversation in the right way, and in ways other candidates may not think to, can bring hoped for and unexpected gains. A few weeks back I filled a vacancy which had a strong shortlist. The final three were all employable, and the company would have taken all three had they been able to. The second choice candidate was disappointed and took it well, responding professionally. I worked hard to give all three a good experience with regular updates and constructive feedback. I too was genuinely disappointed for the ‘unsuccessful’ candidates. Two weeks after accepting the offer and returning the signed contract, the first-choice candidate withdrew. She’d received a significantly improved offer having been headhunted. Within two hours of passing the news on to the hiring team, the 2nd choice candidate was offered the role and accepted. How she had responded to her initial disappointment was a key element in this offer being put forward. The same was true of her experience with us in her decision to accept the offer. In many ways an interview is like a sales meeting. One party pitches their offering which might be customised against the questions asked. The other party makes a decision on whether and how to proceed. In an interview both the candidate and employer act as both seller and buyer. As a job seeker you get the final say on whether you say yes, no or something in between. Your decision is influenced by factors you may not divulge to the employer, such as an unexpected intervention (illness, accident, family), personal circumstances or other offers that may come up. It’s the same for the employer. They may have a hierarchy of decision-making, changes in the business and changes outside of the business - many things that can influence an interview decision or time frame, different from what was initially agreed. In sales we know that a deal isn’t agreed upon until the invoice is paid. Even if there is an initial ‘yes’ in a meeting we follow up suitably. Follow-up email to confirm details of the conversation and next steps. Thank you for your time Follow up at the appropriate time to check progress If it’s ‘no right now’, follow up over time to build a relationship until they are ready to buy If it’s ‘no answer’, find appropriate reasons to follow up, ending in a breakup email What this actually looks relates to what their sales (hiring) process is, playing to their rules and breaking those same rules in an appropriate way. In the UK, 61% of private sector employers are SMEs, whereas the vast majority of money is in the corporate space. The differentiator in recruitment is that the more corporate you get, the more transactional and matrix-led recruitment often becomes. Some of the rules of the game will be different. This illustrates how and why things are different depending on the context. Public sector, charities, geography, bias, habit, strategy - these all affect the rules of what appear similar processes from the outside. It’s important not to be cynical or come across as coercive. Respect the process and any rules you learn about. Thank you notes Most of the employers I partner with are interested in candidate feedback and interest post-interview - to help them reach their decision for the right reason. Were you applying directly, their interest in your view would be the same. A naturally written thank you note sent appropriately should not work against you. It might work for you and it’s a situation where someone’s bias can be a benefit. ‘Dear Greg, I wanted to thank you for your time today and the opportunity to interview at ABC Corp. It was a pleasure to meet you and Gary and helpful to understand more about your role and environment. I remain keen and would be delighted to return for the next stage. You mentioned you’ll make a decision by the end of next week and I look forward to hearing from you. Do let me know if I can help with anything - my number is …. Kind regards,’ It’s an opportunity to build on or mitigate inconclusive points in an interview if there’s an example you neglected to share or if you didn’t convey information in the right way. Maybe they let slip they’d be concerned if the role would keep your interest in the long term - why not own this? ‘During the interview you asked if I could see myself in this role long-term. It’s a role I’d enjoy - taking on a hands-on role I can get stuck into is an exciting challenge, while my experience in xxx would be beneficial for yyy.’ Keep it more succinct than my email though. Write it in your own words in a similar tone to how you came across in the interview. Will it make a difference? Only marginally, in some situations. Is it worth doing as a natural way to continue the conversation? I think so. Don’t be disheartened if you don’t get a reply - they may have a policy to follow. And to that coercive point above don’t say ‘I’m the best candidate. You’d be a fool to miss out,’ or something more subtle that might suggest the same. Additional interviews In an ideal world you’d get a full view of the interview process before the interview. Unfortunately some employers enjoy playing a game of interview chicken, revealing more and more interview stages as you go through them. Most are somewhere in between. Try to establish the full process as early as possible in case there is anything that is non-negotiable for you. For example, I know some people categorically do not want to do technical tests or ‘business plan’ style presentations, having had their fingers burnt in the past. It’s your choice what might be a non-negotiable - for any reasonable employer these are typically used as a means for fair assessment. Treat any interview in the same way as the first interview: prepare as fully as possible and assume nothing. Unless you know their hierarchy of decision-making, that new person you meet at fourth stage for an informal chat might well be the person with the final say. Even a social get-together after an offer is put forward might be seen as an assessment. Appropriate follow-ups It’s a careful balance. You want to show you are interested, not desperate. You need an answer, not to be inappropriately intrusive - even if that’s not your intent perception holds weight. Following up in the right way is a good tactic. If you can gain an understanding of their time frames or process work to that. Anything and everything can happen behind the scenes, including unexpected absences. Things can slip in a way employers may not see as notable. A few work days after you were expecting to hear, drop them a polite line. ‘Hi Greg, I wondered if you had any news on how you want to proceed with this role. Is there any update you can share? Kind regards,’ You can play a bit of keeping up with the Joneses if it’s true - ‘I remain interested - I do have two interviews this week with other employers. Would you like me to keep you updated?’ Sometimes no news is no news and you might need to be patient. Eventually you may come to a point where you need a decision from them - such as if your 2nd choice company gives you a job offer. A breakup email can be a good thing. Even if this doesn’t prompt an update or decision from them, you give yourself agency to walk away with no ‘what ifs?’ And if they do come back later, you can make a separate decision on whether to revisit them. One such email might be: ‘Hi Greg, I enjoyed our interview on May 21st. You mentioned you’d reach a decision the following week. Can I assume you have moved forward with another candidate? I’ll draw a line through my application for now and will be happy to pick up our conversations at a later date, if appropriate. Kind regards,’ Written appropriately, there are three outcomes: You get a reply confirming they have appointed You get no reply and can move on You get a reply with more information That last point may be ‘no news’ or something actionable. Sometimes it might even prompt good news. Whatever the outcome, you can move forward. Keeping in touch long-term Sometimes a no might be a ‘no for now’, especially when you are later on in the process, such as being pipped to the post at final interview. If yours is a business as usual role where there are a number of employees fulfilling similar duties in the same company, you may well be suitable for other roles that come up in future. How can you keep in touch appropriately so that you help their decision making when another vacancy comes up? Find reasons to occasionally keep in touch (maybe once every couple of months). If they are active on LinkedIn you could follow their content and add constructive comments. It may come to nothing but it may give you early sight of a new vacancy. If you see another vacancy advertised check it out. Drop them a line directly rather than just apply given you are continuing a conversation rather than coming in cold. And if they reply to say ‘don’t bother’, at least you know.